Child at Heart♥

joyful dragon year!

2012-01-24T22:29:00.002+08:00

happy Cny! :)♥

Bruno Mars - It Will Rain

2011-12-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

his Elvis Presley hairstyle.♥

i am not

2011-11-19T00:17:00.002+08:00

frankly speaking, i am not as happy now. yes, i am NOT HAPPY!

i just wish that i have a place that i need not entertain anyone else or even listen to anyone else! i just want to do my own things which i think it makes me happy.

for what i know, i'm not happy and i'm suppressing inside. Additional to that, i felt trapped and controlled with things that i dislike doing or feeling.. like as if going against myself to do it.. me no longer me. who am i?

suddenly

2011-11-13T21:27:00.003+08:00

haven't been that good recently i guess. all i want now is for people to leave me alone.

memories

2011-11-09T22:36:00.003+08:00

i was browsing through some old photos from my workplace... i saw how the kids under my care have grown. from a height that doesn't reach my waist toddler to a preschooler that speaks so well and even make fun of you. time really flies! isn't it scary?

i learnt from them about unconditional love; they forgive and forget so quickly that i doubt adults can do so; when they sensed that you're feeling rather tired or unhappy, they ask you "Are you alright?" Simple words like that really melts your heart.

Aww... Kids! as innocent as they can be.♥

what about

2011-11-07T20:22:00.002+08:00

tomorrow, it's my LAST PAPER! Goody! Somehow i felt kind of lost. One of my top priority is going to end.

Many years back, I wished that I can have a memory that I can only remember necessary things. Unnecessary stuff won't be there so not to waste my memory space. Well, you've to be careful of what you wish for. It came through. My memory is really bad especially on things that I don't think it's important. Weird huh... Sometimes, remember too many unnecessary things that only made you more irritated as days goes by. I'm still glad what memory I have now. :)

So, my dearest friends, don't blame me for not remembering things.♥

you know what

2011-11-03T17:35:00.000+08:00

you know what, i had this weirdest feeling ever. it feelings like i have all the time in the world. i have no sense of urgency right now. weird huh. my second last paper will commence in like 12 hours time. i feel neither nervous nor panicky. WEIRD!

it seems like everything kind of calm and laid back today. it's not an excuse of being lazy. i guess i'm just far too tired from work last night.

i received an sms from my partner this morning. saying thank you. as i stay up late to paint the huge tiger face for her activity next week. i guess it's just the tiniest thing i could help her. since she's taking care of the children so well while i can concentrate with my studies during this exam period.

HA P P Y♥

so much so

2011-10-31T00:13:00.002+08:00

have been talking to different friends about stuff. i just felt that everyone has different point of views about life and perspective on certain situations. Ultimately, what really matters will be about you having the free will of choice. And you're truly happy about the decisions you made.

Anyway, I've completed 4 papers already. 2 more to go!

Had a long chat with mum just now. Sometimes, it really feels great talking to an elderly who knows more. Oh gosh! I realised that i've so much to learn. Well then, I shall be patient and learn things on my own pace.♥

my New Zealand jade

2011-10-24T19:49:00.003+08:00

I found there's a long and deep crack on my New Zealand jade. I was really puzzled with that crack as I 'm very sure that I did not knock onto anything hard.

Jade is a very hard stone. And it act as an amulet and protection to me. I Thank it whole-heartedly for saving me or soften the dangerous situations for me. And I'm grateful for it's protection for me. Wearing it made me feel so calm and not as nervous like I made myself to be. I'm a person that get overwhelmed and get nervous extremely easily. Then, I will screw up everything.

Thank you for all this while!

Here's my beloved New Zealand Jade bangle.
♥

BIGBANG - Lies

2011-10-19T23:31:00.000+08:00

♥

T-Pain - 5 O'Clock ft. Wiz Khalifa, Lily Allen

2011-10-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

this song kept playing in my head.♥

the 2 Ps and 1 F

2011-10-15T00:32:00.003+08:00

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.

I used to worried about today and tomorrow. I lived in my yesterday.
Then, I learnt that yesterday is history, and you've moved on and facing today. If even today, you can't even handle it properly, why you need to worry about tomorrow(future)?

So sometimes, when people shared their past, once and twice it's enough. Why can't they just share about their today? Probably they are still living in the history.

I understand the circumstances they're in. Because, I had been through this phrase before. It really took me a LONG LONG LONG TIME to understand this theory. Well, I've to say that life is all about learning. You may or may not agree of one's thinking and "theory", but somehow you'll be influenced a little - when THINGS happened...and made you realized that someone mentioned to me before....

I really wondered why humans are so complicated? I, myself might be complicated but I guess I always have a simple mind.

Simple Mind - the state, quality, or an instance of being simple.

I always remembered what my parents said to me when I was young. They said "It's alright for one to take things for granted from us. As long as we're cleare with our conscience, that's fine. Different people makes the Earth turn." This mentality was instilled in me for life. Being simple ain't easy too. At times, it's really hard for people out there to know / understand and even think that it's real.

For me, if one is real, I can feel in from my heart. If one is fake, I can feel it too. Call me weirdo or sensitive, "You must know that someone out there are as SENSITIVE like I do."

I ALWAYS FEEL THAT I DON'T BELONG TO THIS WORLD AT ALL. IT'S REALLY AMAZING THAT I NEEDED TO LEARN THE THINGS THAT I HAVE TO LEARN IN THIS LIFE TIME. EVEN I HAD TO HURT MYSELF OR EVEN FEEL I'M A WEIRDO MOST OF THE TIME. AND TRYING SO HARD TO HELP THE PEOPLE AROUND ME TO BE THE REAL THEM. ALL I'VE TO SAY IS THAT "IT'S JUST A LEARNING PROCESS FOR ME THIS LIFE TIME. AND I KNOW THAT I'M NOT ALONE AT ALL. I'VE MANY, NO IT'S LOTS OUT THERE TO SUPPORT ME WHOLE HEARTEDLY!♥

Don't Stop Believing

2011-10-12T00:10:00.000+08:00

A small town girl. Livin' in a lonely world.♥

swept

2011-10-10T22:39:00.001+08:00

swept with a gust of EXHAUSTION! Back aching again.... SALONPLAS my back later!♥

sisterhood gift

2011-10-06T21:17:00.003+08:00

this is my sisterhood gift from my beloved sista, Ayako. :)

Oh my! Time really flies! We'll celebrate sisterhood every year, but it's never on the actual day. We'll always back date it due to some events. But we never failed to spend time together whenever we've the time together.

I'm totally fortunate to know Ayako. I got to know her at Maad event. Where local designers/artists meet. I used to be a very reserved person. She's the one, who broke the thick layer of ice in me. Made me learn how to believe in life and people again. I'm certainly grateful about that. Because of her knowledge and experiences in life, she helped me through my bumpy years. She never failed to give unconditional love and care for me.

Even when she's in overseas, she never failed to text me or go online to chat with me. Asked how am I; Any updates, so on. When I'm down, she's the only person that I felt comfortable and safe to share and talk to. She always made me feel as a whole again.

She's the only person that when we share thoughts and advices that made me feel real and sincere.

We are not blood related. But I felt so close to her and I know that I can trust her totally without a single doubt! I'm really blessed to know her and be her little sister.

Without fail, she always showered me with many many many surprises, presents, care and love. That's her, Ayako!

Many a times, I felt so bad and guilty for not giving or providing the similar things that she gave me. But she always never blame me or even feel unjustified. She still loved me for who I am, for one like her is really hard to come by!

Thank you Sista Ayako. For loving me and decided to be there for me. Thank you for everything you've done. I strongly believe that by saying Thank you isn't enough. I'm grateful and appreciate what you've done for me!! love~♥

smart

2011-10-05T21:51:00.001+08:00

♥

so not good

2011-10-04T23:30:00.002+08:00

going home feeling nice tonight. But after shower..
Someone came into my bedroom and started complaining and all. After saying whatever he wants to say, he closed the door. Leaving me there.... Thinking and mulling about what he said. He kept stressing me not to tell another party. So, do you think by telling it helps? Probably, you think that by sharing with me helps you to lighten your stress and pressures and all. But do you know it affect me with quite a fair bit? Do you think it's fair?

I seriously DOUBT SO!

blank

2011-10-04T01:05:00.002+08:00

my brain was so close of wiping out of all stuff. i was blank for the 1/2 hour. i was wondering what have i done today.. all i can recalled was that my dress had this huge hole. it was torn while working...... and my dad brought my clothes to my office for me! my life Savior! how can i do it without my dad!

oh yesh! it's only Monday, first Monday for October! Great.. my exams are coming! It falls on the last week of October and first and Second week of November! I gotten study leave for these weeks!

Then, December - CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY!! Alright! I should be practical for now.. After my exams then I'm allowed to play and really hang out like before!
DISCIPLINE CINDY DISCIPLINE!!♥

Chloe Sevigny says

2011-10-02T10:34:00.001+08:00

♥

step taken and now...

2011-10-01T02:16:00.002+08:00

I've taken my bold step today. I'm glad I felt so much at ease after that. I would share this "step taken" soon... Hee..

Positive & Happy thoughts brings in abundance♥

Avril Lavigne - Smile

2011-09-29T23:38:00.000+08:00

S M I L E♥

a flicker from the flame

2011-09-28T23:51:00.002+08:00

something hot and pain when touched.
something go with the flow when there's slightest movement from the air.
something that you can't do it without in your daily lives.
something that gives people warmth.
something that generate a certain form of energy.

what's that? Answer: Flame.

It's something that you can't do without.
I know, this something really random.
Hahas.. But it somehow prompted me to blog on it, and so i did.♥

john lennon says

2011-09-27T00:05:00.002+08:00

tap tap... hmmm...♥

to share or not to share

2011-09-20T22:41:00.002+08:00

good news. finally something nice from me.

I saw photos of the little angel who was suffering a brain tumor. I was overjoyed! My tears almost came out. I was really touched. His grandma show me his photos and the things that he drew! He could see a little now.

We are all praying for miracles! And tumor to shrink and cancer cells will just went "poof! Gone!"

He's discharging tomorrow too! I'm just simply glad!

sometimes blogging is a way to vent my frustrations and whatever out. Then, at the end of the day, I will feel better. But I feel that sometimes, I just don't even want to share it out with anyone not even my sister. I just want don't want to share

speaking of what

2011-09-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

I've been sleeping over the weekends for the longest time ever. Sometimes, I just feel that my body is far too tired and so it just need to shut down and rest, that means hack care EVERYTHING for the time being.

Today's wind was chilly; Sun wasn't warmth; Sea was calm. What does these resemblance?

I still cold with a jacket on today.♥

as days

2011-09-16T23:32:00.002+08:00

LIFE is just like a drama script. The writer + director + actor/actress = YOU! So, how you want your drama of life be like, it's your choice.

I was sharing with my friend quite sometime back. He mentioned that life is full of choices. It only matters when you made that choice, does it made you learn something out of it.

bonne nuit~♥

so long

2011-09-15T22:24:00.002+08:00

i saw an angel in real life.
despite of his illness and all the things that he's going through.
fighting it! be strong little one!♥

satisfying night

2011-08-30T00:17:00.002+08:00

why so of the title tonight? it's BECAUSE I had my 2 bowls of BEEF NOODLES and many many whiskies to end my Monday night!

I wondered should I go party on Thursday night? Whereby, no people to go party with as many need to work the next day! Sighs! Sometimes, being a teacher ain't that good too.. *giggles*♥

woke up with

2011-08-28T22:38:00.003+08:00

Today, I woke up at 4pm in the afternoon. I had a long long dream... In the middle of the dream, my dad came into my bedroom and wake me up for lunch and I said, I will eat later. Then, I continued my dream. The dream was very vivid but I only remember that this person brought lots of happy moments and joyful moments.

Last night, I went out with my girlfriend, Linda, and as usual, we chatted for hours and hours, we snacked and drank. Our conversations just continued without any awkward pauses. We shared many thoughts, jokes and even advices.

I remember one fact that she shared with me that disgusted the both of us. She saw this documentary on Taboos shown on TV. It was about humans fall in love with objects. Literally, in love, like as if, you fall for a guy or a girl. They even made love with them. There was this old man in his late 60s. He's straight and he's single after his wife passed on. He fell in love with his car, beetle. He was so in love that, he even compose poems, songs and stand beside the car and recite or sing to his beloved car. When he heard any sound made from the car, he will sent his car to service. And some times, the sounds of his car turned him on..and he could just masturbate in his car like as if making love to the car..

I looked at Linda with my eyes WIDE OPENED! I freaked out! hahahas.. The world is filled with a sorts of people!♥

i need beef & salmon

2011-08-25T23:24:00.002+08:00
i want to eat beef beef beef and lots of salmon sashimi!!!!!
salivatiing now♥

2011-08-22T21:48:00.002+08:00
What do you think about dreams in dreams? Have you had one before? Dreams that you can remember, dreams you can't remember. Being awaken by disturbing dreams and then leave you fearful through out the night and etc.

I don't know how to interpret dreams. But I had dreams often. I used to force myself out of the dreams so not to be upset, afraid or even waking up crying. But now, I tried to walk on even though the dream was really disturbing and terrifying for me. Because, in real life, I love to run away from situations like, the fears in me, anger in me, sadness in me; I'll deny them all. Just one fine day, I felt that if I keep on running away from situations and all, I'll be running away for life. This is not I want in life.

Facing all the contradicting feelings, angers and all made me grew stronger day by day! Most importantly, I'm really grateful for those who stood by me all the time; not giving up on me when I threw tantrums. hahas.. I'm really a spoilt brat, I know. What about a spoilt brat with with a simple mind and simple heart? :) That's me!

alrighty. time to get onto real business.
M-U-G-G-I-N-G T-I-M-E!♥

BADLY NEEDED

2011-08-21T21:37:00.001+08:00
i need new stuff, new ideas, new interesting things to do!♥

what i pray for

2011-08-18T20:57:00.002+08:00
I pray to the White source that everything will be good. I feel that it's time for me to get and have some good stuff. I'll sincerely appreciate that. :)

Someone told me that, media from all sources always set bad influences that "corrupted" your mind or even make you feel so belittled. We need to pick and choose what is right what is wrong, ain't it?

I noticed that whenever I'm overly strained and stressed up, I love to run away from the reality and then, my body got weaken and I'll fall sick. Now, I'm ain't behaving in such a way anymore. Mind control over body. Mind control all the evil in you too.♥

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

2011-08-17T22:53:00.000+08:00

Soulmatey!♥

Fuckin' Perfect

2011-08-14T21:33:00.000+08:00

If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me!♥

spending time

2011-08-13T00:04:00.002+08:00
After work, I went Wala Wala with my best girlfriend of all time. I sensed that she's kinda of upset, the unusual self of her. I was kinda worried, I wondered is it because I'm late. then, she shared with me what happened the past week. I was disappointed with myself that I was not there for her. Maybe I should be more concern about those loved ones around me. just to check on 'em. Probably, I've grown to used to my own space and time, and I started to careless for those always been there for me. All these years, she stood by me even thou we seldom meet up.

I started to compare my current situation and hers. Mine wasn't that bad at all. I'm so sure that I've gotten used to the mundane feeling and the routinized day. Yes, I do agree that I seem that I've no life. But who cares? Only I responsible for myself. Why should I bother about people. I slow down and take my step gently and carefully each day. And Thank God that I'm still alive. I'm grateful for those who been there around for me all these while and not giving me up even how difficult and how stubborn I am.

What do you think about me? My sister, told me this that day. "I've seen you go through the same things all these years. Do you want to keep falling into the same situation whereby you keep giving people chances? And not allowing you to be open to all opinions waiting for you?" I do agree what she said. Be it friendships and work. Similar things keep happening. I strongly believe that I'll just keep giving chance even though what made me so down at times. But once the time is up, I'll feel that I should just let go and fly to somewhere else. Like what I always said, "Seasons change and people change; I'm changing as well."

What really matters now is to push myself to the next step no matter how life seems hard on me. I'll just treat it as a training ground and make full use of the lessons I met. In my dictionary, there's no longer this word: "Regret."♥

Freedom

2011-08-11T23:47:00.001+08:00
Goody! I've granted a few days F R E E D O M! ^^♥

can't wait don't i

2011-08-10T23:30:00.002+08:00
I need more money! I need more clothes! I need more bags! I need for shoes! I shall wait patiently for my next MEGA RETAIL THERAPY OVERSEAS!♥

today was

2011-08-09T22:06:00.002+08:00
dad came in to my room this morning and said "NOI!! WAKE UP!! We go Clementi eat Breakfast!!" I opened my eyes and moaned... He asked who made that sound..
Me: "Dad... it's holiday! can't you let me sleep awhile more?!"
Dad: "wake up la.. i treat you eat dim sum!"
Me: "okayyy......."
He was happy because he need not prepare my breakfast. hahahas..

Head over to Eunice's place for lunch. Gosh! While we were preparing the lunch, we had Rosa. I head home without waiting for dad. hahas.. i was really sleepy and i just need to lie on my bed and sleep! ♥

2011-08-06T03:12:00.001+08:00
I don't want to be picked by default. I wanna be someone's first choice.♥

:(

2011-08-03T22:32:00.002+08:00
auntie mona says "Cindy ah, you looked so pale today?! fall sick le ma?"
auntie lucy says "Cindy, why your appetite so bad today? you face really very pale lo!"♥

something that made me melt

2011-08-03T00:51:00.003+08:00
my loved one text me a few days ago after i asked her a question at wee hours. in the message she mentioned that "of you truly happy and really live worthwhile." this really made me cried, when i woke up in the morning reading this text. then, i realised that i'm just a human. made out of flesh and blood. i do feel for things and i will get touched very easily when the person is real.

i've been questioning myself all the time upon things that happened. why am i so stubborn. i would not like the devil in me to eat me up. i would like to live for something that really make me truly happy.

in groups of friends i had, i always don't feel belong to at all. i questioned myself why am i doing this to myself, forcing myself to blend in to somewhere that i don't really belong to and to the people who don't give a damn but only come and look for you when they need some "support". i don't feel happy mixing with these friends too. conveniently thought that i could just blend in and how it goes but i was wrong. i was always wrong on such.

i'm certainly exhausted when mixing and being with these friends. seasons change people change. i changed too. it's kind of hard to accept that, but i've to take the first step by moving on. i do not want to sink into a deeper hole again. the recurring feelings and negatives feelings i've gotten already made me had enough.

i know that i presence is no longer important. i shall disappear from you and just wish me luck to look for another group of people that i feel i belong to.

well so, many might that Cindy is emo-ing again. nope. I'm certainly not. as i felt that i really need to do something about these feelings i had for years. when i start to grow sick of something, i'll make sure that it won't appear in my life again. just like cleaning up my room, there's a certain tolerating period. when it reach my limits, that's it.

BEING RANDOM AGAIN: I've very short term memory, I believe everyone knows. As I choose to have such memory. I do not want and like to remember things that are not long lasting and ain't important to me.♥

it's the month of the year again

2011-08-01T22:42:00.002+08:00
i'm not sure, whether you're sensitive enough when this month of the year seems a little bit different. Yes, of course, I'm talking about Hungry Ghost Festival. This year, it feels more dense and heavy.

Today, I don't really feel well. I hardly feel that way unless my body is really weak. At work, my head kept spinning and I could hardly breathe at all.... Feels terrible... Then, I left work late and head over to library to borrow books for this week's lesson, my gastric went hay-wired, I almost fainted at the library. I HATE THIS FEELING! I shall not let this feeling overwhelm me and take over me! *BLEH*

Suddenly, I feel like visiting my grandma's house in Malaysia. I guess, that is the only place that I felt so comfortable to be at. Lay back a little, indulge in delicious food. Positive vibes around..

I need a huge change in my life now. I'm getting rid of those unnecessary and build a better ones. It's time for this change. I'm going to place my stake somewhere else.♥

about that lil angel baby C

2011-07-28T23:59:00.002+08:00
Baby C was overwhelmed by many things today. I'm not sure of what. She got so excited that she ran towards me and cling onto me and hugged me so tightly, giggling so loudly and kicking her legs as well. This happened quite a number of times! Super adorable! These few days, she has been singing to herself. While having meals, waiting for me, drinking her water, even when she wakes up from her nap! This adorable fellow... she has a huge tummy! so huge that she always run towards me and show her big tummy to me!♥

mommonday

2011-07-26T00:30:00.003+08:00
i was so addicted to the drama that i'm watching lately. some taiwanese drama. it was funny, it somehow reminds me of me. work seems fine today, just didn't feel well today. don't know why, i felt giddy around late noon, and my eyes just a quarter opened! my colleague somehow sense that i'm not feeling well.. she's really nice, she asked me to sit down and not to worry about the stuff. after eating 1 packet of candies, i felt so much better. or else i won't be able to make it for tonight's steamboat with my girls.

gosh! gizelle, my girlfriend's baby daughter, super adorable! she has attractive eyes and the most darling smile i ever seen! CUTE CUTE!!

baby c woke up early during her afternoon nap today. after that she could not sleep back the my colleague took her iphone out and played the tom cat with her.♥

R.I.P Amy Winehouse

2011-07-24T01:48:00.000+08:00

♥

made me tear

2011-07-24T00:36:00.002+08:00
a magical movie overwhelmed me. i was astonished with determination and the ability of being strong against the dark side and the negative sides.

if life can be as simple as possible for one, that would be nice!♥

Bruno Mars - Talking To The Moon (lyrics)

2011-07-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

looking and talking to the moon~♥

right

2011-07-18T21:56:00.001+08:00
went to work with my new hair cut....
one of the kid could not recognise me.. she turned her head away and do not want to look at me...!!! When i call her name, she CRIED!! Oh my! She took a long time to recognise it's me! silly baby..♥

freaking annoying

2011-07-13T23:16:00.002+08:00
i was late almost everyday! it's not because i laze on my bed which i usually do in the morning but i never make myself so late. THEN! the stupid train stopped almost every station more than 5 minutes. can you imagine i need 1 hour and 15 minutes to reach tanjong pagar!?! bloody hell... and many think that i come in late on purpose. i did explain to my boss that it's not my fault even i left my house so much earlier than usual! whatever... maybe i should change route or MAYBE I SHOULD CONVINCE MY DAD TO MOVE TO SOMEWHERE NEAR TOWN or get a car and chauffeur instead...

I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE!♥

Baby C

2011-07-12T22:27:00.003+08:00
Baby C absolutely CUTE!! she woke up earlier than the other kids during nap time, she sat on her mattress and start to baby talk and sing songs! then when i walk to her mattress, she will smile exceptionally sweet and lie on her pillow and sing the song softly.

When i share it with her mummy, her mummy said "Are you sure Miss Cindy? She's very a wanton little miss!"

uber cute.....♥

happy birthday dad.

2011-07-11T21:18:00.003+08:00
today is daddy's birthday. and mum made him seaweed soup! hahahas.. :) they're fans for korean dramas.. so.. hmmm.. adopting things like that.. hahahas.. gonna treat my dad for yummy korean food soon! :)♥

楊丞琳-我們都傻

2011-07-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

醉後決定愛上你 drama. NICE!♥

I Can't Take My Eyes Off You--Twilight

2011-07-10T00:32:00.000+08:00

Awwww.......... ROMANTIC~♥

[MV/HQ] Ding Dang 丁噹 - 一半 (Yi Ban) One Half

2011-07-09T21:40:00.000+08:00

我的生活只差那个人就美满...
快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
没人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满

节日却提醒我孤单 ♥

2011-07-08T21:26:00.003+08:00
today i was drawing some stuff at the reception. then Ms. B came. she needs to print some stuff for her kids. Then.... i was sitting on the swirl chair and she's kneel down.. the height when she's kneeling down was the height i was sitting on the chair! gosh!!

kids being kids. menace tim opened his lecherous eyes.. and went over to bald headed lyra, planted his gentle kiss on her cheeks.♥

silly

2011-07-07T23:24:00.002+08:00
i told my colleague this morning "SIGHS! today only wednesday!! so tiring.. so lazy to come to work!"
she said, "no.. today is thursday!"
i replied her, "you must be dreaming!! not enough sleep right? today wednesday still tell me that today is thursday!"
she said, "eh cindy! i think you still not awake from your dream! today is thursday and tomorrow is friday.."
then i said, "don't bluff, i go check..."
after checking the date.... then.... hmmmm.... yah... i was the one not awake.♥

wanesday

2011-07-06T22:02:00.004+08:00
a day of not here and there. tell you.. i'm seriously hungry today! i ate 3 roti prata in a row during my break time. then the kitchen auntie came running towards me.. CINDY!! eating again! WAH LAU!! enough le lo you! eat so much!! then i looked at auntie and said, "auntie, yesterday i treat you eat 1 roti prata then i only had one lo.. then today you sore throat, purposely come and disturb le lo.." auntie laughed and ran away... silly auntie!♥

hate tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays

2011-07-05T23:18:00.002+08:00
i just simply dislike tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays! because the most irritating days of the week.

speaking of which, i did this test from a website it's regarding about your name. okay, i try doing Cindy Lin name first. This is what I get. THE BOLD WORDS ARE TRUE, the rest not quite.

You Are Original and Innovative

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

Now now, my another name.
You Are Peaceful and Content

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

People see you as a complete enigma, and only you truly understand who you are.
You spend most of your time introspecting and seeking truth.
You're a very interesting person... but not many people know you enough to realize it.

Goodness, both names some of the points are so true!! H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A...♥

munday

2011-07-04T21:29:00.002+08:00
while i was walking to mrt station today, i felt so a sudden warmth that was reaching into my heart. it has been a long time i had this feeling. i felt so happy about it and it somehow brighten my day.

Dreams: i had this dream that i was in a candy shop. And the candy shop sold my childhood favourite SWEETS! There's a sweet called Meiji, it's white wrapper and the taste of the sweet is bailey. But the shop keeper sold them in small packets and there's only 3 pieces of candies in it! Before, i could ask the shop keeper how much was it, i was woke up by my alarm clock!

Gosh! i missed the taste of this candy! I used to buy it in big packet and munch on it during my mandarin tuition class!♥

2011-07-03T16:51:00.003+08:00
the internet connection was acting crazy during the nights.

well.. i had an enjoyable night at zouk on friday even thou i left early. :) it's really nice to club with fun people and drinks.

saturday was a busy busy day for me! i woke up early to run errands for my mum. then rush home to get edda's presents and rush to her place for her 1st birthday celebration! i was suppose to meet my girlfriend for dinner but i was really tired. ran home and took a nap on the cold hard couch plus the noisy television on and mum & dad's chatting... BUT i went into deep deep sleep...

it feels like a healing process for me instead... it has been a long time ever since i feel so comfortable...

suddenly, i woke up when the grandmother clock strikes 8. i thought i heard 12 dongs! i jumped up of the couch. mum and dad switched off the lights, television and left me sleeping on the couch... they went to their bedroom and watch tv instead.. :)

here's some photos of little baby edda... the happy baby!! just so lovable!!♥
her beautiful 3D cake.
baby edda and me.

awww.. so cute!♥

virus hit me.

2011-06-29T21:00:00.000+08:00
feverish. time to sleep.

joke of the day

2011-06-28T20:47:00.003+08:00
dad says people who injected botox onto their face, by the age of 40s, their face will looked worse than his butt! he said, my butt is fair, smooth but saggy. lmao..

Hmmm... seriously, no offense, it's just a joke! :p

Telling the truth

2011-06-27T23:58:00.003+08:00

telling the truth isn't that difficult. practice makes perfect.♥

healing

2011-06-26T23:05:00.002+08:00
what have i done today. i did nothing but sleep. is not that i've nothing else to do. but i decided to sleep and to rest my physical body and mental body from all the stress that i've been accumulating from the week.♥

s-a-t-u-r-d-a-y

2011-06-25T23:56:00.002+08:00
Went my gf's little baby girl's baby shower. so CUTE and small!! her name is Chandell, but i loved to call her xiao xiao means little little. hahahas! she's so tiny and cute! Gosh! i was busy disturbing her using the corner of her pillow to tickle her nose.. LOLS! xp and i kept touching her little arm.. SO SOFT AND SMOOTH! gosh.. like bean curb~ i told my gf i would want her to be my god-daughter, but this god-ma will be the poor god-ma! hahahas..

then took the express bus to town to meet my another gf for dinner... then chats. :) nice chill out saturday...

previously, i text my brother and shared with him that, "sometimes do you find that you no longer belong here. all the people you've known or rather close with, the frequency no longer similar. like for example you won't agree to what they say anymore.. at times because of these differences you'll feel miserable." he said don't feel disheartened. people change as life changes. i always feel that "if you don't like something, change it. if you can't change the way you think about it."

what he said made me think a lot and somehow lighten my "heavy bag of burden". After that night, i reflected a lot and i feel that i should just change the way i think about everything. why am i so stubborn and kept mulling on the uncertain feeling? and made myself kinda lost and unhappy about. shouldn't get affected by little or minor things that i used to thing it's a big deal.

i felt much happy and not so annoyed about many things. just embracing the things and people around. just the way it is. and just the way life is portray differently in everyone's life.♥

being a glutton and i paid the price

2011-06-24T22:30:00.003+08:00
today was one of the kiddo's bday celebration. then kiddo's mum offered me a slice of swensen's ice cream cake! happily, i took the cake and EAT!! after i left the last spoonful of ice cream, then i remember that ice cream are made from MILK! AND I'M ALLERGY TO MILK! If i take milk stuff, i will run in n out of the toilet if serious i will vomit too! :(

After a few hours, my tummy started to stir... Then, here it goes!! I should be more mindful and not to be such a glutton anymore. BAD HABIT BAD HABIT!!

something

2011-06-23T23:29:00.003+08:00
today i done something cheeky again. nothing new. my tots group kiddo going to take their afternoon nap. then baby C fell asleep quickly while drinking her milk and so soon she started those baby snoring.... then i accidentally tickled her then she begin giggling with her eyes closed and body twisting. thinking that she's faking sleep... so i continued tickling her.. she kept giggling, and twisting her body with her eyes closed and snoring still.. so i called baby c... baby c... are you sleeping? no reaction at all... then i realised that she's really asleep but she's able to react to the tickling with all the giggling and all.. xp

uber cute!!

dreams

2011-06-23T00:51:00.002+08:00
i had 3 nightmares in a row. it was draining. i did not force myself out of dreams as i wanted to overcome the fears. i felt myself, drifting, fading and disappearing from the human world. like heading to some dimensions and unable to come back. i heard someone calling me... i heard my sister's voice, she said, "Cindy... cindy... come back. you've to go back. GO back!" I woke up sweating and feeling spirited away through out the day.

this is why i always fear of having dreams. i will keep on dreaming, dreams in dreams in dreams. i need to try extremely hard to wake myself up.

staring out of the windows

2011-06-21T21:32:00.002+08:00
hmmm... while i was walking home it feels like drizzling but it's not. it feels chilly. then while i'm eating my late dinner, i smelt that it's going to rain.

allergies are back. tiny bumps appearing and it's really itchy. even after showers i still feel itchy... and my taste buds are weird. when food used to taste delicious and strong, it's tasteless now. when food is extremely salty and all, i don't taste anything. Last night i had a sapporo during dinner, it taste as if like bubble plain water! when food is plain and tasteless to others, to me it's extremely salt-ish! i guess i need to get some check ups!

get my eyes checked. kept seeing things. seeing the WRONG things.
get my nose checked. i can smell floral fragrances or perfumes during the night, while i was sleeping. as i've a sensitive nose, i allergy to some perfumes and the ingredients in it. those fragrances appearing in my room not the fragrances that i've smelt before.
get my brain checked. it's not functioning well now. my gold fish memory got worse somehow.
get my taste buds checked.i'd mentioned earlier on.
get my ears checked.kept hearing things. hearing the WRONG things.♥

suddenly

2011-06-20T23:39:00.002+08:00
i wish my legs are better and i can go back for my runs! but this won't happened that soon.

over the weekends

2011-06-19T21:46:00.003+08:00
On Saturday, i needed to report to work so early in the morning! And I did not overslept! That was a SURPRISE! End work slightly later than usual, was clearing and helping my colleagues to finish up the remaining necessary things before I left. By the time, I met Mei and the rest for Party World, my battery somehow running low. After blowing the KTV room down, we went Prawning at bishan! I was so tired that my eyes couldn't open at all! Didn't catch any prawns as I left early and went home and sleep! LOLS!

I woke up at 11am this morning! Ate lunch, watch tv for awhile and I went back to sleep... And I woke up around 8pm plus for dinner. didn't i tell you that my hobby is sleeping?♥

day by day

2011-06-17T00:40:00.001+08:00
tiny pieces of me are fading off. that's fine. i desperately need to have a long and deep sleep. even the loudest thunder couldn't wake me up.

somehow bed ridden

2011-06-15T16:51:00.002+08:00
i've been dealing this persistent migraine & the spirited away feeling whole of yesterday and tonight. I believe my body is reacting so the medications from the doctor. And I'm definitely drained and overworked myself. I slept more than 20 hours yesterday plus today. Yesh! I'm not kidding you. Occasionally, when my body overworked and over stress, this is what i do. Sleep like no tomorrow. It isn't fun for sleeping such long hours. As I'll feel like zombie when I woke up.

The doctor was really nice, he told me that migraine there's NO TOTAL CURE. All i can do is to find ways to de-stress and create a comfortable bedroom to sleep. No caffeine after 6pm, no exciting games or movies before I sleep. I feel like laughing as I don't like coffee, I'm just addicted to Coke that's all. I know, Coke has caffeine, but it's different from coffee alright.

That night, I purposely waited till 2am just to have a little chat with my Sister. She's in overseas. I'm glad that I'm able to talk to her for awhile. Before she logged off from Skype, she said "I hve to return to workshop now.takecare little sis. Smile ok?even when life can seems hard at times."

This really made me cried and think a lot. Her unconditional care and love always travels from a long distance to my tiny little heart. No matter how busy or how far she was, she will always try to sms me or email me. I really felt so loved and comfort just when I felt that I'm alone dealing with the tough time I'm having right now. She just know... Just know how I felt or sense that am I alright or not. I don't feel ashamed to cry in front of her at all. Because she just know that I need that outlet even I always suppressing all the thoughts and feelings I had. THank you Sister.. :)

I'll be alright soon! I know I will! :)

rashes

2011-06-13T23:21:00.002+08:00
oh no! many many little bumps appeared around my neck.. :( it's not as itchy as compared to the last rashes i've gotten. But still feeling uncomfortable.

mum says it's caused by "heatiness"

hopefully the bumps will go off soon.

getting prepared.

2011-06-13T00:11:00.001+08:00
I will neither disappoint nor fully prepared for it.♥

getting so

2011-06-11T21:56:00.001+08:00

I believe I'm getting slightly better, even though it will forever be a deep regret in me. Let's make it a surface 小伤口 then.♥

getting so

2011-06-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

I believe I'm getting slightly better, even though it will forever be a deep regret in me. Let's make it a surface 小伤口 then.♥

Why bother

2011-06-11T17:03:00.002+08:00
Why bother? Why not cast away all mental bondage. Just seek within your inner self. One day you must leave everything behind.

Elliott Yamin: This Step Alone

2011-06-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

I just walk alone.

of feel

2011-06-09T23:09:00.002+08:00
u.b.e.r. t.i.r.e.d .a.n.d. d.r.a.i.n.e.d

2011-06-08T22:28:00.000+08:00
if i'm given a chance, i would like to stay in my dreams for a longer time.♥

Keri Hilson - Lose Control ft. Nelly

2011-06-07T23:16:00.000+08:00

Shake, wind, and roll
Let's lose control ♥

why so

2011-06-06T22:39:00.000+08:00
that day i was asking mei, why when i'm in the tough period of time, there's always many more shit will happen? i really dislike the idea of being so negative all the time. i can be positive on many shit happened to me in the past. what's gotten into me? seriously, hate ttm!

2 of my close colleagues decided to quit. their last day of work will be the first week of July. i was really upset about it. well, seasons change people change.

i'm looking out of the windows every night, my heart just sank... like sinking into the dark and pit-less sea. i wish i can be even more stronger for this.

au revoir ♥

2011-06-05T20:14:00.001+08:00
il est temps pour moi de se sentir mieux. mon cher ami, tu seras toujours dans mon coeur. souvenirs que nous avions seront conservés quelque part dans l'arrière-plan. de ne pas s'inquiéter. Je ne vous oublierai jamais. au revoir.♥

yesterday to brighten up gloomy day

2011-06-05T14:47:00.003+08:00
walking to siloso
tan my back to even up
usually, back views are sexier

up and jumping
after tanning this is a must eat SOUP SPOON♥

rainy morning away and hello sunny afternoon

2011-06-04T23:34:00.003+08:00
i really thank my pals for being there for me. for this tough period of time i'm in now. we hit the beach late and stayed till late over there. we talked, talked a lot.... talked so much that one of them actually encouraged me to stay positive even though i'm in such a situation now.

tanned for awhile with the late noon sun. slightly darker. they said i've gotten 2 shades darker. i'm not very sure about that though...

2011-06-03T22:52:00.002+08:00
what do we have here, i guess i've entered a place where people shown their ugly and fake side of themselves. sometimes, it's really hard to battle or to get along with such people no matter how strong will and strong mind you have. they just eat you up like waves. not once, not twice but always an ongoing wave.

sometimes, i do wonder how insensitive or heartless humans can be? i guess, they should heal themselves first before they come out and deal with people. it's not right for everyone to tolerate and to listen to their wishes even though they are superior in certain ways.

take my parents for instance. one night, i sat down with them and talked to them of how they need to get rid of the old things, no matter how expensive it was. once, it's no longer in use or spoilt, please get rid of it. such will only keep all the negativities in and that not only affect their minds, moods and all. i spoke to them in a very firm but concern manner. I asked my dad, "did you notice that, you will throw your temper as and when you like, and you're unaware about it?" he looked at me with his guilty eyes. I told him, it's not once or twice. i suggest you to clear all the unwanted things, your bed frame and mattress from your master room as soon as possible. that is to help yourself and the whole family. initially, he told me it's very expensive and etc. i told him, it's up to you. i've told you what you can do to make your life better, and you will feel the big difference if you listen to what i say and do what i say. then mum said, yah.. maybe it's time for us to change and all. i asked my dad "how much was the bed frame and all?" he said $3000. and i asked him back, how many years since we shifted here with this bed. he said more than 10 years. then i asked him to divide the days and the amt of money. i told him, it's worth every single cent and it's time to pass on and move on for the better and new change.

When i got home the next day, mum told me that, they went to look for a new bed frame and mattress today and they've placed an order and will be delivered to our place soon. I'm really glad that they took my advice and carry them out.♥

tiny little hiding corner.

2011-06-02T23:14:00.001+08:00
i want to hide one tiny little corner, where no one can find me. i just to rest, sleep and do whatever i like.♥

numb

2011-06-01T23:02:00.002+08:00
numbing period. i don't feel anything anymore. i don't feel sad. i don't feel happy. i don't feel anything at all... i no longer feeling heart beating even though i'm still alive. i strongly believe that i've thicken the ice in me.♥

really sorry

2011-05-31T23:25:00.003+08:00
for those who have been reading my blog, i would like to apologize to you that you'll be reading posts that really unhappy or affecting your emotions and all...

i'm not sure do you lose someone that you are close with and you love the person to the max as they always pin point your weakness not afraid of you being angry; support you through tough times; when they wanted someone to eat with they will come and look for you; share every happy things; teaching you about life and how to look at thingin different perspective and all.. this best friend of mine was someone who was just like that..everything perfect in many ways.... this friend would always be there no matter what. like a pillar of support for me all the time.

my eyes are really tired. my tears kinda FOC for now. just kept flowing out non stop and difficult to stop.

everyone has their own time frame and to cope with such. I'm really grateful and thankful for all my friends around respected me by giving me space and understand my situation right now. thanks guys.

i hope i will be okay soon. and get back my chirpy and happy Cindy. and smiling and telling lame jokes during gatherings and all. i'm trying my best to cope. just give me sometime alright? i promise i will back.♥

i wonder

2011-05-30T21:02:00.002+08:00
i'm still crying myself to sleep. every details, memories, lame jokes i cracked with you, shopping trips, delicious meals, small talks, sharing of thoughts, learnings from you kept flooding into my mind unknowingly. Especially, i'm not busy or nothing to keep me busy.

losing someone who used to be precious or special and important really hurts so much.

sunless sunday

2011-05-29T18:28:00.003+08:00
still trying to get over this down period of time, hope i'll feel better soon. and get back to my normal self.

i was trying so hard to fall asleep last night even though i had 3/4 bottle of wine during mum's bday celebration. i cried myself to sleep again... tears just came flowing non-stop.

i looked exactly like a goldfish.
i do not know how to start my work. but i will try to get it done as soon as possible so i can rest properly for my work next day.♥

not normal

2011-05-28T22:09:00.004+08:00
i've lost a close loved one. i still can't believe the news. i broke down when i saw the news. tears just came flowing out non stop. losing someone is not what i want. especially those i really love and care for. for one being so true and real to you all the time, support you, be there for you, wake u up when u done something not right and all.

suddenly, i felt that life kind of crumbling down. i really hate this kind of feeling losing someone like that.

i still owe you TWG treat!! and you left just like that.... it's a regret for me and a wish/treat that i can't fulfill. i really wish that, everything never happen and you will be okay.

inititally, i don't want anything else, but you to come back. but it seems like, impossible for you to come back anymore. i've to accept this harsh and cruel truth...

i do not know how long i will take to get over this mourning period. but i really appreciate that friends around me can please respect me and give me space to be alone. when i'm okay, i will be back again.

goodbye my loved one............

Nelly - Lie (Feat. St. Lunatics & Keri Hilson)

2011-05-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

♥

defused.

2011-05-26T00:19:00.003+08:00
defused the "heatiness" in me! i've drank 1 litre of ICE WATER within 10minutes. WOOTS! brain freeze... i guess i'm going to sleep well tonight! :) As i won't feel too warm to fall asleep tonight..♥

today

2011-05-24T20:29:00.000+08:00
nonchalant.♥

idiot

2011-05-23T21:34:00.001+08:00
i thought that i'm hungry... then i gobbled down my dinner, but the feeling still persist.. then i realised that i'm having gastric pain!! what the... this constant sharp pain really kills me.....♥

i wish i wish

2011-05-22T18:46:00.002+08:00
i wish i'm back to patong beach! the beautiful waves, beach and the freedom over there. i yearn for another visit there.

well, i'll look forward for another trip! happy!
good days finally come to an end. and it's time to mug!♥

i just know

2011-05-21T23:05:00.002+08:00
somehow i just know that happy days (meaning my holiday) is so freaking short. hahahas.. i seriously need to enjoy to the last bit to the max!

Sometimes things were just so simple but one's mentality just made it complicated.

Oh well, who cares, none of my business.. :)